How long does it take to get your ex back? Some say 3 months, some say half a year. In fact, there is no exact figure for recovery time. After all, everyone’s feelings are different and different problems lead to different recovery times.
An important factor that affects the recovery time is the timing. Simply put, there is a golden period for recovery, and it will be easier to recover the relationship at this stage. If you are lucky enough to seize the golden period of recovery, your road to recovery may be easier; if you miss the golden period of recovery, you may need to spend more time.
The most difficult thing about recovering is not that you don’t know how to recover, but that you give up easily when it’s time to recover. Recovery is never achieved by brute force, it must require wisdom and a good attitude. How to get your ex back?
1. Distinguish between true breakup and false breakup
l What is a true breakup?
A true breakup is what we call a breakup after rational thinking. This kind of breakup is not to vent your emotions, but to break up with the relationship and to leave with a mentality of leaving. Generally, this kind of breakup is difficult to recover, because the other party has given you many opportunities when they first decided to break up, but you didn’t realize that now they are disappointed in you and will not easily believe what you say.
Characteristics of a true breakup:
1. In your past experiences, you have had many contradictions and conflicts, but if the contradictions cannot be resolved, no one wants to compromise;
2. Before the breakup, there was no fierce quarrel, and they just talked about the breakup calmly;
3. You have informed your relatives and friends about your breakup;
4. Block or delete your contact information for a long time, and completely disappear from your world;
5. When you take the initiative to send messages to the other party, the other party does not respond actively and often treats you poorly.
l What is a false breakup?
To put it bluntly, a fake breakup is a show played for you. The other party does not want to break up with you in his heart. The purpose of breaking up is to vent his emotions and achieve his own goals. This kind of breakup can be easily reversed as long as the other party’s emotions are relieved, because the other party does not want to break up with you.
Generally, false breakups have the following characteristics:
1. Keep your contact information and be reluctant to delete you;
2. Frequent deletion and blocking will attract your attention again and again;
3. There was a fierce quarrel before the breakup, and I broke up with you in an emotional moment;
4. When you take the initiative to chat with the other party, he or she will reply to you, but his attitude will be hot and cold;
Generally speaking, boys are more rational, and once they break up, it is a serious breakup. Girls are more emotional, and breaking up is caused by emotions. Relatively speaking, a fake breakup is indeed easier to reconcile than a real breakup, but this does not mean that a fake breakup does not require recovery. A false breakup also requires timely relief of the other party’s emotions. Some people always feel that the other party is just pretending to break up, so they keep letting it go. As a result, they miss the best time to recover, and the real breakup is a fake breakup.
2. Seize the 3 golden periods of recovery
Is there an optimal time for recovery? Of course! Generally, after a breakup, there will be three golden recovery periods.
During these three golden periods, your chances of success will be higher, so don’t think that you have no chance of recovery after breaking up. If you can seize these 3 opportunities, your relationship may change.
The first one: Within a week after breaking up
What’s the best way to break up after a breakup? Many people are saying that the best way to save the first week is to disconnect. In fact, disconnection cannot solve all problems. For a period of time after a breakup, people will be extremely emotional. You can use this emotion to express your attitude over and over again.
Within 2-3 days after breaking up, you can take the initiative to keep your distance and give each other time to calm down. After 2-3 days, you can take the initiative to have a simple conversation with the other party. When appropriate, you can take the initiative to meet and test the other party’s attitude. Start with the needs of the other party and prescribe the right medicine.
If it is inconvenient to meet in person, you can take the initiative to chat with the other party online. You can send the other party a message like this: We have been together for such a long time. It is a pity to separate in this way. Don’t worry, I will not pester you. I just hope that we can It’s easy to get together and relax, and we can still be friends in the future.
First of all, you need to let the other person understand: you will not pester her, you are just contacting her as a friend. As long as you don’t break up over a matter of principle, the other party won’t reject you too much.
If you have been contacting the other person for a week after breaking up, but there has been no change or response in his or her attitude towards you, you can take the initiative to cut off contact first and give the other person a period of freedom.
Second: The emotional relapse period is about 2 months
After breaking up, within a short period of time, the other person will still have a negative impression of you, and he or she will unconsciously magnify the problems and shortcomings between you. Only when this period has passed will he or she not adapt to your breakup.
This kind of discomfort may be obvious 2 months after the breakup. Especially when you are alone at night, the other person will have a strong sense of discomfort. What you need to do is to use the other person’s habits to show your heart.
For example, if the other person is an optimistic and positive person, you can take the initiative to show your positive status in the circle of friends to attract the other person’s attention.
People like things they are familiar with. For example, we have come across such a case before. A boy wanted to win back a doctor. He updated some health rumors in his circle of friends every day. As time went by, the other party couldn’t help but comment on him.
This is our technique, the purpose is to get the other person’s attention in this way and thus reconnect. When the other person is uncomfortable, you can appropriately brush up on your presence and increase the other person’s interest in you.
Don’t miss the golden period of recovery at the right time. The result of hesitation is that the emotional link between you will be broken, leading to the miss of the best period of recovery.
The most important thing in recovery is timing. If you don’t seize the opportunity, even if the other party is willing to have any contact with you, you will probably miss each other. Don’t be hesitant when it’s time to get back, or be sloppy when it’s time to let go. Once you miss the other person’s emotional relapse period, it will be difficult to regain the other person.
Third: The memory period is about 3 months
Within 3 months after breaking up, the other party will miss you especially. I think of many beautiful memories you had together. At this time she will pay attention to you unconsciously.
The most important thing to save such a person is to let the other person know that you are the most suitable candidate for him or her. Whether men or women, when they choose a long-term partner, the first thing they consider is whether you are worth the other person’s efforts and whether you can live the life you want together.
If you break up because you have been unable to give the other person the life they want, the other person cannot see a future with you. You are not meeting the other person’s emotional needs. At this time, you must learn to show your changes. You have become a person who can plan your own life and future, and you also have your own methods of managing relationships.
You can show your changing dynamics in your circle of friends. For example, you used to live a very casual life without a clear plan. Now you are rethinking your own future life, career plan or life plan. You used to be a homebody and didn’t like working out, but now you clock in and work out every day. You need to create some contrast to increase the other person’s impression of you. The greater your changes, the more in line with the other person’s needs, the greater the impact on the other person, and the higher the probability that you will get back together.
Recovering the golden period is aimed at people who like to take the initiative in relationships and have lost contact. In this process of recovery, the other party may not give you a timely response, because they believe more in their own eyes. Judge your changes through your own observations. When your changes meet the other party’s needs, the other party will naturally contact you.